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HUMOR & CARTOONS
Publisher's note: Got a joke? A funny story to
tell? Perhaps, a funny pic? Well, what are you waiting for? Send your goodies to
press@worldjewishnewsagency.org
Caption: America's real flag: Corporations and money.
VIDEOS
Bush-Blair
Endless Love. By Daniel Kutzman, Click image to view video
George W. Bush and Tony Blair
express their true feelings for each other as they sing a stirring rendition of
"Endless Love." This amusing video casts the
Iraq war alliance between George W. Bush and Tony Blair in a whole new light.
Created by Johan Söderberg for a Swedish television program called 'Kobra,' this
parody synchs up images of Bush and Blair singing Diana Ross and Lionel Richie's
breathless ballad "Endless Love." Their international coalition may be
crumbling, but their hearts still beat as one.
Darwinism --- Proof .......By C. Karalla


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CARTOONS





A La Martha Stewart...


Bush Asks Americans To Boycott The Rolling Stones

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George W. Bush Loves Bald Heads By William Stockton



All kinds of bald heads...


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__________________

"Make fun of us, the Arabs" by the Arab
Standup Comic Goffaq Yussef.
Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies. What do you say to a Muslim
woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!
How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb. None! They sit in
the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians? It bombed!
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!
Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because
it's just a stone's throw from Israel!
Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every
Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
A small plane carrying Yasser Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and
all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people!
A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest, I'm not
a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I
could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!"
What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
"Live ammunition."
A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I have his
room?"
10 Reasons To Love Palestine
Golly gee, I am SOOOO proud to be Palestinian Arab from the West Bank. Let
me tell you the reasons why I have such warm, fuzzy feelings about my people
and culture:
1. There is no such thing as Mothers Day. No worry about cards, gifts, and
expensive meals. There is no honor in being a woman in our culture, so
there is no reason to devote a day to her. We do, however, get to enjoy
watching our fathers beat our mothers senseless for the slightest real or
imagined infraction. Also, if Dad suspects that Mom spoke to a strange man
in the street, he gets to kill her to preserve the family honor!
2. Weapons. Every child, from the time he can grasp an object, is trained
to feel comfortable with a rifle or pistol in his hand. And every
Palestinian has a weapon: a gun, a rocket launcher, a pound of C-4. What
good are hands if they aren't used to kill?
3. Hate. Boy, we love to hate. Hate is the very basis and foundation of
our culture. From the time a child is old enough to understand language, we
teach him to hate. Hate Jews, hate the West, hate his fellow man, and most
of all, hate himself. We have no love songs, we do
not preach love, the word love does not appear anywhere in our society. Hate
is the fuel that runs our motors.
4. Death. The moment a Palestinian Arab child is born, his parents begin
to plan his death. How will he die? Will he be struck by an Israeli bullet
while being used as a human shield by Palestinian gunmen? Will he get shot
while throwing rocks at Jewish soldiers? Will he be packed with explosives
and sent to blow himself up, killing others? Or will he merely be one of
the many Palestinians murdered by other Palestinians in the normal course of
daily life in the death-culture of the Palestinian Arabs? Who knows?
That's part of the thrill.
5. Unemployment. Palestinians used to have jobs, working in Israel. But
then, our leaders had a brilliant idea: suicide bombings! For their own
protection, Israel had to close its borders, preventing Palestinians from
going to their jobs, so they could sit around unemployed and blame the Jews
for it. What great fun to be your own worst enemy!
6. Martyrdom. Who in their right mind wants to be a martyr? Among normal
people, a martyr complex is considered immature and obnoxious, if not
downright crazy. With us, it's the central syndrome of our society! Hey,
look at me, I'm gonna kill myself and become admired! And then, when we do
kill ourselves, instead of being considered pathetic, we DO get admired!
It's a whole complete cycle of sickness! American kids collect baseball
cards; Palestinian kids collect martyr cards (really! no joke!).
7. A feeling of entitlement. When Israel came into being, we declared
war. We lost. We fought again. We lost. We fought again. We lost.
Israel had the right to kill us all (we sure would kill all of them if we
got the chance). Instead, they allow us to live on land they conquered.
But we can't leave that alone. We have to claim entitlement to live on land
that we lost in 6 wars. Since when does the loser of a war get to claim the
land he fought over? They don't. But we do. Not only that, but we happily
kill our kids over it! Hey, what's more important -- a chunk of dirt, or
some worthless kid who isn't going to amount to anything anyway?
8. Uselessness. The Jews have won more Nobel Prizes than all other ethnic
groups combined. Their contributions to science, art, literature and the
humanities is far out of proportion to their population. What have
Palestinians produced? Nothing! Not a thing. We don't do anything
productive. We're too busy rioting and killing and chanting and screaming
and calling for everyone's death. And we blame the Jews for it, as though
the Jews stop us from being productive.
9. Friends. The Palestinian people sure know how to pick 'em. Saadam
Hussein. The Taliban. Adolf Hitler. You name a psychopath, and we embrace
him. And look who our supporters are! The American Nazi Party. The KKK.
Just check their websites and see how they stand in solidarity with us.
When you support the Palestinian "cause," you're in real good company.
Bring your white sheet!
10. Freedom. The biggest laugh in the world is when people call us
"freedom fighters" or they say we're fighting for our freedom. Take a look
at all 22 Arab countries. Do you see any freedom there? Well, that's what
our country will be like if we ever get one. It will be a dictatorship run
by armed, masked thugs who will kill anyone who dissents. Just like we are
now. Freedom???? LOLOLOLOL The word doesn't even exist in our language.
Hey, just like George Orwell said: "Freedom is slavery. Long live big
brother!" Remember: Israel is bad! LOL -- Its existence keeps reminding us
what a bunch of losers we are.
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